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Monday, December 11, 2006

When the new neighbor is a sex offender

A few years ago, a registered sex offender moved into a rental home within two miles of my house and on my regular walking and running route. A number of friends called to let me know and word passed throughout the neighborhood. I felt a sense of relief at knowing, which quickly was replaced by a sense of confusion and discomfort. What was I supposed to do with the information?

I discussed the issue with my children, and mentioned it to families I knew whose children might pass by the home. Beyond that, I found myself simply staring at the house with unease and suspicion -- taking note of the cars in the driveway, how tightly the blinds were closed in the house, even glancing suspiciously at the garbage left on the curb on trash day. I never altered my path, but if my feelings could have been beamed into the house, the renter would surely have felt a cold draft of scrutiny and distance. Even now, long after the man moved away, I still think of the house as the "sex offender's house" and sometimes quicken my pace as I pass it.

I wonder if there isn't a better way to deal with such a situation -- specific information that would keep nearby families safer or (and maybe this is wishful thinking) make it less likely that the offender would reoffend. Simply creating fear and distrust hardly seems like the best "notification" system.


36 Comments:

at 11:10 PM, December 11, 2006 Blogger Brah Coon said...

The most practical solution would be to brand a big letter " P " for pervert on the persons forehead. Some might cry that it would constitute " double jeopardy" but who cares. Anyway, why were you " glancing suspiciously " at his garbage -- of all things? hahah

 
at 11:47 PM, December 11, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

Krista, I guess this makes me a true bleading heart. I agree with you. As much as I hate pedophilia and child abuse, I don't know how these people are supposed to go on living. Of course, I would want to know, so that I can help block watch my neighborhood. But I am uneased by the whole situation.
I wonder how often the "fear" has caused harassment and worse?
I wish there was more info about what causes and what cures (if anything) the attraction to children.
Maybe public education is the true answer. Maybe the conditions that give rise to such abuses could be better defined.
For instance, like my Mom said recently, haven't we learned that step parents and boyfriends in the home with children that are not their own is the biggest indicatior of all child abuse?
Maybe parents should be educated on what the signs and symptoms of the pedophiles mind exhibiit. specially, since most sexual abuse is by a family member and second to a family friend.
thanks for the courage to brooch a difficult and emotional topic.

 
at 12:07 AM, December 12, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

Two miles away?

The zero defect generation strikes again.

 
at 7:27 AM, December 12, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

What I still don't understand is why people make a huge deal out of this. Where is the Murder registry? Maybe your next door neighbor murdered someone 15 eyars ago, will you ever know? Where is the Domestic Violence registry? A person accused of Domestic Violence is hundreds times more likely to reoccur than someone of a sex offense. Yet, we can't check the history of who we are dating. How about one for drugs? I don't want someone convicted of drug trafficing living next door. So why are we singling out ONLY sex offenders?

Don't most sex offenders have vehicles? I guess driving or walking 2/10 of a mile is a hard thing to do. That takes me about 1 minute to run. Also, where are the studies that show MOST serious sex offenses DO NOT occur within a mile of the home? Pretty much the only offenses that occur within 1000 feet are older guys picking up younger girls (under 14) by being their next door neighbor.

Why is someone that is 45 and rapes a 39 year old treated the same as someone that is 45 and rapes a 13 year old? The offense charge may be different, but the registration is the same. And that guy that raped a 45 year old may never do anything sexual with a child, yet, he can't live near a school. Can ANYONE tell me why?

It appears to me all we are doing is pushing sex offenders into an area where they are not getting help and they are having a hard time getting back into society. Many may only commit the offense once in their lifetime, but for 10 years they are screwed and may be out thousands upon thousands having to continually move. Some may say that's justice, yet why is it you can kill someone or beat your wife and get a less offense. Yet if you streak naked through a school parking lot, you are ruined for life?

Just some questiosn to think about that I wish the people in our government would think about. All they are doing is destroying the lives and not helping these criminals. Repeat drug offenders and repeat domestic violencers get a more fair treatment.

 
at 8:45 AM, December 12, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

While many communities are considering 1,000 feet laws (0.2 mile), you are fussing over an offender being 2 miles away?

Why not just export offenders to another planet. Would that be far enough away for you?

 
at 10:24 AM, December 12, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I understand your story, the premise is silly: that sex offenders only perform a new sex offense within "x" distance of their residence.
Then, those neighbors living within this perimeter should be notified to take precautions.
And those living outside of this perimeter are safe and their "ignorance is bliss".

What if your child was assaulted by this sex offender and you lived “x” distance plus one house from the sex offender? You would feel that you were unjustly uninformed of the danger.

You can't have it both ways. If a sex offender is to be labeled a pariah on society, we all have the right to know. Then, we should decide for ourselves what precautions to undertake that are legal.

Rather, if your legal sensibilities are tweaked and feel the sex offender should not be labeled with a "scarlet label", then you have no right to claim injustice when you or your loved one is assaulted by this individual. And public safety officials should not be blamed by you for your belief that you were negligently uninformed to take precautions and change your behavior.

IF YOU ARE WILLING TO RESTRICT THE FREEDOMS OF SEX OFFENDERS AND OTHER CRIMINALS FOR THE GENERAL PUBLIC'S GOOD, THEN YOU MUST ALSO BE WILLING TO ACCEPT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR JUDGMENT AND ACTION OF PLACING LIMITS ON ANOTHER'S FREEDOM.

 
at 1:18 PM, December 12, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

at 8:45 AM, December 12, 2006 Anonymous said...
While many communities are considering 1,000 feet laws (0.2 mile), you are fussing over an offender being 2 miles away?

Why not just export offenders to another planet. Would that be far enough away for you?


No but putting them away for life might suffice, killing would be ideal for society and thier victims.

 
at 1:48 PM, December 12, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please get over yourself. I know it must be frustrating not to be able to remake the world in exactly the fashion that you would choose, but ex-cons have to live somewhere, and I for one am glad when the settle in middle-class areas. Why should the poor people have to deal with all this stuff all the time?

 
at 5:40 PM, December 12, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

I guess if we "need" to know where all people convicted of "sexual preditor" crimes live, we should also know where all how have been convicted of weapons under disability, conceal carry, assault, robbery, B&E, drug abuse and dealing, etc. I think, on a day to day basis, those convicted of these crimes will probably have much more of an impact on how I live than someone with a sexual preditor conviction.
And while we're at it, let's have a database of everyone on community control and parole, and their conditions. We need to know these things.

 
at 8:23 PM, December 12, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

I say we do away with all of this and just send them to death row! I don't care if they EVER have a place to live. Once you touch a child (and yes, there needs to be difference between statutory rape and adult rape crimes), all of your human rights should be vanquished. Statistically speaking, sexual PREDATORS WILL offend again. Unlike murders, which usually happens in the heat of the moment or circumstance, sexual deviants PREY on their victims, plan and plot their next attack and guess who they'll pick? That little girl living across the street from him. Take Jessica Lunsford for example. Couey was across the street from her, watched her and when the moment was right, tortured, raped and killed her. If the law would have kept better watch on him and if her family KNEW that there was a sexual predator in the area, maybe she would still be alive.

It's scary that so many people on here are so willing to give sexual deviants a nice life. I'd prefer that they all die, but that probably won't happen any time soon. I've just simply HAD it with turning the monsters into victims. Their rights flew out the window the second that they molested or raped a child.

Everyone needs to wake up and realize that these people aren't going to change. And, they're definitely NOT going to live in my neighborhood or live by the school that my kids attend. If you want to be the guinea pig for that experiment, go ahead, but I'll stay in my predator free neighborhood.

 
at 7:31 AM, December 13, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

Krista,
it's interesting that you were "afraid" of the sex offender you knew lived nearby but (like everyone else) totally ignored the fact that sexual crimes are the most underreported of serious crimes. That means that in each and every neighborhood and every street there are unidentified sex offenders who aren't on any list. Ironically the ones on the list are less likely to reoffend and are probably currently in or have already received treatment further decreasing their risk of reoffending. The danger is not the individual across the street, more likely than not, the real danger is the one across the hall.

 
at 7:35 AM, December 13, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here is something to ponder. If a 16 year old murders a 30 year old, the prosecutor will immediately press to have that 16 tried as an ADULT (and until recently could have been executed). BUT if the SAME 16 year old instead had sex with the SAME 30 year old, the SAME prosecutor would shout, "oh the BABY". Come now, what does this say about our society?

 
at 8:00 AM, December 13, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

I never cease to amazed by society's fascination of the extremely unlikely. In a country of 300 million there were less than 100 stranger abductions. Yet according to the CDC, over 11,000 children are killed each year by accidents, that's over 300 a day! Yet this data receives no front page coverage or nashing of our collective teeth.

In a similar vein we repeatedly hear of the damage done to children who are abused (of course ignoring the fact that most of the abuse comes from people known to the victim). But as a counselor I see victims of sexual abuse, physical abuse and emotional abuse/neglect. If I just presented the current symptoms, it would be impossible to determine what was kind of abuse the victim suffered. So why do we ignore physical and emotional abuse which have can severe consequences, or worse if the abuse is perpetrated by a caregiver?

 
at 8:10 AM, December 13, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

Someone commented on this forum that they hate pedophilia. Sometimes I get the feeling that people believe pedophilia is a "lifestyle choice." I sincerely doubt there is a single individual who is sexually attracted to pre-pubuscent children (which is the definition of pedophilia) that did not themselves suffer some kind of horendous abuse as a child. We weren't there for them then and we certainly aren't today. Just a thought but wouldn't it be helpful if we as a society actually took the trouble to understand the origins of pedophilia, just as we do for alcoholism, and develop a culture that allows and encourages individual with problems like this to come forward for help. Wouldn't that work a whole lot better in protecting our children than these sanctions?

 
at 1:42 PM, December 13, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

Isn't one of our basics rights under the Constitution to have the ability to redeem ourselves with society when we make a mistake? Do the crime, do the time, be absolved. Society's pre-occupation with sex-offenders and how the courts have ruled, in my mind, is unconstitutional. If they are not "recovered" and cannot function normally in our society then they need to stay in jail for life. Period. Then there's no debate about distances or notification.

And parents need to watch their own damned children and stop expecting the rest of us to watch for them. I'll help...but I won't do it for them.

Child sex offenders are despicable human beings, but our society is no better for perpetuating the problem by letting right-wing moralists dictate what our government should do. Good riddance to the republicrats. The dems have a chance to reverse some of these mistakes - hope they do it.

 
at 3:06 PM, December 13, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

IF these past offenders are such a threat to society, why are they free? Instead of posting information on websites, asking the police to inform neighbors, and making regulations about where they can or cannot live, if they are THAT dangerous then what are they doing out of prison?
I don't look at prison as rehabilitation, and I really don't look at prison as punishment. I look at prison solely as a way to protect society from people who would harm it.

If they are a threat - keep them locked up. For life.
If they aren't a threat - then you and I don't need to know about their past.

Simple.

 
at 5:43 PM, December 13, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't understand the people so against letting them try to live a life. Why are you merely picking on sex offenders?

A person accused of Domestic Violence is hundreds times more likely to recommit another DV than someone with a sexual offense. I work for a police department to be unnamed at this time. We have had numerous cases going on this year involving child predators and some with adult predators as well. What amazes me is how some of the cases happen. I have yet to find one case happen in the past 2 years that involved anything to do with a school, a park, a playground, etc. Here is what they have had to deal with....

~Father's best friend that lived 2 miles away
~Father of child
~Live in boyfriend
~Someone that lived 3 states away


Wanna know how many DVs we have had? Alot, and guess what they ALL involved? PEOPLE LIVING TOGETHER. So why is there nothing to inform someone that they are getting into a relationship with someone that has been accused of Domestic Violence?

1000 or 2000 feet will not stop someone that wants to be a sexual offender. I guess few here (well the ones that say lock them up or are in support of 1000 feet rules) noticed that in every instance on Dateline the person traveled a great distance to commit that offense. They didn't go down to their local middle school, they drove 1-5 hours to commit the offense.

Punishing the criminal and putting living restrictions on them do nothing. There was a local case in Cincinnati where a man raped a 35 year old female while married. He had to move his wife and 2 kids because they all lived about 800 feet from a school. You may say seperate adult crimes from child crimes, well, nobody is suggesting that yet. It seems like the people in council have lost their heads in thinking about that.

Also, there is not alot of proof that offenders will recommit. And those that do recommit, do it the same way they did the first time, they drive the distance to do so, not 200 feet to their local school. They usually go outside of their county and state because it's harder to track someone that way.

Also, anyone ever been in an Internet chat room? Gosh, I'm 24 and have been hit on by people that are under 18 and asked if I like young girls. I immediately block those kids. But on occasion I've asked the girl why she wants and older man, and each time they say because they like people with money and maturity among many other reasons. So alot of times the kids are looking for this. Blame the damn parents on that one for not watching their kids.

I'm done, and if I could post a way to contact me on here, I'd love to, so others can contact me with how to change these stupid regulations.

 
at 6:33 PM, December 13, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

Michelle I have to wonder where all your anger comes from. This is certainly not a place to do psychotherapy but your diatribe had me scratching my head.

Okay so you don't believe in God. How do I know this? Because God has the capacity to heal anyone. Clearly either you have no faith in God or you think God has very limited powers to heal.

Someone else posted that pedophilia is not a life style choice. (Forget for the moment that not everyone on this list has abused a child or is at risk to abuse a child.) Do you think someone was just sitting around one day with nothing to do and decided, "Hey I think I'll be a pedophile?" How were these "monsters" as you call them created? Surely you have the answers because I assume you know for 100% certainity that YOUR precious angels will never do anything to get themselves labed a sex offender. So please Michelle for the sake of all our children, please tell us how you know this to be true. Did the parents of those who did become pedophiles know all along their kid would grow up to abuse children and refuse to share this information with the world?

OR is it possible that these "monsters" were created by their parents, their family members? Do you really think that they came from well-adjusted homes? Pedophiles were abused themselves, as someone said earlier, either sexually, physically or emotionally. They aren't born "monsters." So if you can't have compassion for someone who was abused as a child, grew up in a dysfunctional home and never received appropriate help, then I wouldn't want you as a neighbor.

We are all a function of our genetics and our environment (i.e. the families we grew up in). I remember reading excerpts from a blog of one pedophile who stated he was abused by so many people for so long he thought it was normal! Yet Michelle would call this individual a monster because he had the misfortune of being born into the wrong family.

According to data from our Justice Department, the Canadian justice department and multiple scholarly studies, sex offenders are NOT likely to reoffend. Despite how many times someone says the opposite (remember those weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?!) it won't make it true. I read a book that stated anger is the flip side of helplessness. Maybe that's where all the "throw away the key" and "excute them all" comes from.
But unless you have the answer as to how someone ends up abusing children, then you can not possibly state with certainty that your kid won't grow up and do the very same thing....that means your precious angel could be a monster too.

 
at 10:21 PM, December 13, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

I DO watch my own "damn" children...beyond closely. Our bus stop is right at the end of our driveway and I stand right there with them. When they play outside, I'm right there with them, even though our yard is private. I don't let my 10 yr. old daughter walk 2 houses down to her friend's house, without me going with her. So, yes, I OVER watch my children (to the point that family members think I'm crazy!) because I realize that no one else will do it for me. Especially none of these people commenting that are so willing to defend the child rapists.

The sad fact is...it's not the same world that it was 20 years ago. I'm 31 and walked home by myself when I was in the 3rd grade. I was a latchkey kid and was home by myself for 3 hours before my parents got home! That could NEVER happen in this day and age. There are more freaks than ever and we have to be extra vigilant. If that means smacking the scarlet letter on a person who rapes a child, then I'm all for it. It will make them easier to spot when I'm hawk-eyeing my children.

And yes, they served their time in prison and society in no way thinks that they're "healed." (I don't believe they can be!) But, there's simply not enough jail space to keep them and no rehabilitation will help them. So sorry that they themselves were abused as children...many people are abused and DON'T choose that life. It's no excuse and it pisses me off that so many people are turning the rapist monster into a victim.

I just wish the majority of people here that are commenting would let me know if they'd want a sexual predator living next door to THEM. Next to their children and their loved ones. If you'd invite him over for muffins or talk to him while you're cutting the grass. I'm thinking that answer is NO and that makes you a hypocrite.

 
at 5:52 AM, December 14, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Krista,

Being the father of three children and a former candidate for US Congress who personally knocked on the doors of thousands of FAMILIES in Southern Ohio's 2nd Congressional District, I can honestly say that you have touched on an issue that is constant concern for thousands of women and parents who live in Southern Ohio. I know this because people have echoed your concern throughout our entire seven county US Congressional District. And they have echoed your opinion...

The current system is badly broken and really needs a complete overhaul. The state government approach has repeatedly been proven to be ineffective. The federal approach to this problem rings of nothing more than keeping people in fear. We have a US House of Representatives that is packed full of underqualified politicians instead of people who have experience in solving people's problems.

Now I truly believe that government is not the solution to people's problems but, in this case, we need people in the United States House of Representatives who are:

1) Qualified to begin to deal with this epidemic in our country and

2) Genuinely interested in solving the multitude of problems that this issue presents in people's lives.

Right now, our government is lacking in both of those categories, not only on this issue, but also on so many issues that families face in their daily lives.

The only way that we will ever see an effective approach to the sexual predator EPIDEMIC in this country is to elect people into office who are able to build the coalitions of people and dedicate the resources necessary to do more than just throw political rhetoric at the problem... FEAR is not a solution - it is a side effect of failed governmental policy.

If I ever run for US Congress again, I would highly recommend that sexual predators do NOT vote for me. Remember, I was the Congressional candidate who worked tirelessly to represent "the CHILDREN and FAMILIES of SOUTHERN OHIO". One of the most frustrating things to me during my last 2 campaigns for US Congress was that the children who most need the help of our politician's are the most under-represented group of people in the United States of America.

One more thought for the day... If you don't believe that a man from a small rural town in Southern Ohio can become your next US Congressman, then you've never heard of Ted Strickland... He ran for Congress 4 times... Have a nice day.

Jim Parker
Former Democratic Candidate for US Congress 2005 & 2006...
2nd District (Adams, Brown, Clermont, Hamilton, Pike, Scioto and Warren Counties)

 
at 10:42 AM, December 14, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is that self-serving campaign speech over yet?

Criminals are locked away in prision to isolate their past behavior from harming society again. With GPS and tracking braclets mandatory for repeat offenders that are not in jail, we could track these individuals 24/7 and investigate their suspicious activity.

 
at 2:53 PM, December 14, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

To Michelle....

Yes, the recommitment rate may be higher but we have to look at numerous things here that you and others (mainly those in gov't) fail to look at....

Point 1...There are no other registries for any other crimes. Which would you rather have living next to you?
a) A sex offender (he raped a 34 year old woman, but since he's just classified as sex offender you don't know that and you and the general public ASSUME he raped a child)
b) A drug convicted trafficker
c) A bank robber/burgerly
d) Someone convicted of 3 counts of assaults on different dates
e) SOmeone convicted 4 times of Domestic Violence

Of the above, the ONLY one you will find out about is A. However, of all the above, the safest one with the least problems in your DIRECT neighborhood will be A. Yet we single them out.


Point 2) Statistics over and over and over have shown that the majority of those convicted of a serious sex crime had some sort of abuse as a child. So is it their fault they were abused? That abuse led them to what they are doing. So why not try to help them? Jail time over and over has solved nothing. That has proven ineffective for almost every form of crime. And all it does is waste tax payers money.


Point 3) I briefly mentioned this...you seem to think the biggest targets are kids under 10. No, the biggest targets are teens. And in most cases where something happens, they bring it on themselves. They allow it to happen by sending out signals to older men. Don't tell me that a female wearing a spaghetti strap top that shows half her bra and her full stomach is not inviting to something. Those are the main targets. We are not talking rape of a 5 year old, that's a totally different type of crime alltogether with a more severe punishment. But the MAJORITY is men to teenage females. And it's not rape, it's consensual sex that or the talk of consensual sex, yet under the law and under morality, it's wrong.


Point 4) You bring up next door neighbor Bob. I'm not a father at all, but say I had a daughter and he does watch her quite often. I would inform my daughter how to protect herself. I wouldn't build a 30 foot high fence between us because what does that solve? It just protects her from Bob. What protects her from Jim and Tom and Dave that have never been arrested before and live 2 hours away? Nothing. So parents need to talk to their children and come up with ways for them to protect themselves. That is where most parents these days fail. Not saying you do, but most don't teach their kids how to take care of themselves or know what their kids are doing. Heck, do you want me to show you 100 MySpace pages? All with people under 18 that have lied and said they are over 18. And they all have provacitive pictures and talk on their site. And these aren't kids in Cincinnati, they are in a partially upscale community in Cincinnati with a low crime rate. So parents need to check up on their kids a little more often. If there is no prey, there's nothing for the predator to go after. The #1 target these days are not people an offender knows personally. They are not ones that he doesn't know at all. They are ones that they have gotten to know via the victim being open and giving up too much info.


Point 5) Reading is under fire for a law saying a convicted person can't live within 2000 of anywhere a child would hang out in a sense. Well, say that applied to the entire state. That basically leaves the country for the offender to live in. How does that help track them at all? Now, you know NOTHING on the offender unless you feel like searching 30 miles from your house. If they live in Williamsburg and work in Blue Ash you have no way of tracking them in Blue Ash. But who says they won't commit the offense near work? Get off work at 3, wait by the school, then pick up the victim and return her home for dinner. And guess what? Assuming the person is registered, unless you feel like searching 40 miles from your house, you won't find anything out about him and he's now harder to truely find. Personally, I'd rather have him living next door where I can get to know him and what his moves might be than not knowing a single thing about him.

Any questions? Go ahead, ask me.

 
at 4:34 PM, December 14, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kevin...your following comments have sickened me!

"And in most cases where something happens, they bring it on themselves. They allow it to happen by sending out signals to older men. Don't tell me that a female wearing a spaghetti strap top that shows half her bra and her full stomach is not inviting to something. Those are the main targets. We are not talking rape of a 5 year old, that's a totally different type of crime alltogether with a more severe punishment. But the MAJORITY is men to teenage females. And it's not rape, it's consensual sex that or the talk of consensual sex, yet under the law and under morality, it's wrong."


Are you serious?!?!? To blame a child (and yes, a 16 yr. old is a child still. Teenage girls ARE NOT ready for sexual relationships!) Believe me! I can tell you're not a father. As most of the previous comments are from people who don't have children and therefore can't comprehend the true evil that exists in the world. True evil that is targeted at our kids!

Go live in your liberal fantasy world and think that you can "cure" these people. Like I said before...there are a lot of abused people in this world. 1 out of 3 women are molested by someone in their lifetime. Do you see them running around attacking, raping and murdering little boys? No, just because your childhood sucked doesn't mean that you're excused for your wrongdoings later. Such a liberal position. EVERYONE is a victim and YOU are never to blame.

I don't want these men in my neighborhood. I'd rather they be dead. (And, if something ever happened to one of MY kids...I wouldn't have to worry about where they would be living. The men in my family aren't very forgiving and would deliver their own justice since the courts won't do it!)I'm so sick of pedophiles and molesters. Like John Walsh has said, "If there is ONE terrorist in our country, we have thousands of people after them. We have THOUSANDS of pedophiles who are torturing our children and we do nothing. War has been declared on our kids and we just sit back!" He is my hero!

 
at 6:37 PM, December 14, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

I must say that I find the dialog in this blog interesting and not unexpected. Although I will compliment those who see this situation for what it is (e.g. Kevin and others). I am a registered sex offender living in the tri-state area. For obvious reasons made crystal clear by many bloggers I do not believe revealing any further information would be prudent or in my best interest.

A little background. I am a sex offender and my offense was one of solicitation of photographs from a teenage girl. So for all you who too quickly jump to all encompassing conclusions, no child rape, no molestation, no posession of child pornography. I served nearly a year in prison and another year on parole for this bad choice in my life. A term I deserved. I completed required therapy. I am nearly half way done with my registration requirements, after which you will have no way to identify me. Luckily I am not affected by any of the draconian requirements that have been making the news lately. None of these accomplish what you think they do. Any of you that rely on the registry and restrictions are fooling yourself. Many others, have made these points clearly in the blog, I can verify the correctness of their points of view, and will defer to their presentation of the facts.

I live in a upper middle class neighborhood where my neighbors clearly know about my registration and we maintain an unspoken mutual respect for each other. For that I am thankful. I have never had an incident due to my living here amongst hundreds of families with children of all ages. I myself am a father of a teenage girl. Before you jump to more conclusions, yes I pay child support and yes I have visitation. Outside of my neighborhood and family, NOBODY and I mean NOBODY knows of my past and my status as a sex offender. I frequent all the places (stores, restaurants, parks, festivals, sporting events) that you do and that your children do. You wont ever identify me because I do not appear like what your closed minds want me to look like. I am a well educated, well-spoken professional.

I live with this label everyday and deal with the ramifications. The most visible one is lack of employment. I know many of you will say that is my fault and have no sympathy or compassion, dont worry i'm used to it. I do not disagree with you but I take a different point of view. I have spent years looking for a job, full or part time, only to have the door shut in my face countless times (albeit always in a polite way, nobody wants to say we will not hire you do to your felony). It is difficult if not impossible to find employment. This band-aid approach of brushing us under the rug or pushing us to the edges of society hoping we will disappear will not work for long. You exacerbate the problem when you do not reintegrate people back into society in a meaningful way. Most offenders do not have supportive families or the means to survive day to day. Unemployed, ostracized, and angry at the world is not the way you want any individual (offender or not) to be. This situation only has poor outcomes for society as a whole.

I am a better person now than I was half a decade ago. Many of you will never believe that and I dont personally care what you think. But I know it in my heart and that is all that matters to myself and my family.

I will continue to monitor this blog so feel free to comment....I am sure you will not disappoint my expectations.

 
at 8:17 PM, December 14, 2006 Blogger Brah Coon said...

What about homeless sex offenders? We hear nothing of them. The forgotten sex offenders. I suppose we're all to busy chasing that almighty dollar to pay any mind to them. I passed one on the street the other day and could only hang my head in shame when he asked me in a raspy voice for " spare children"

Dickens would be appalled.

 
at 10:21 AM, December 15, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mrscabes -

I assume all those caring vigilante men in your family would choose life in prison over caring for their families. Makes perfect sense !!!!!!!!! It is extremists like you and the so called loving men in your family that create so much fervor over this issue.

 
at 1:36 PM, December 15, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

mrscabes....Your comment...

"Are you serious?!?!? To blame a child (and yes, a 16 yr. old is a child still. Teenage girls ARE NOT ready for sexual relationships!) Believe me! I can tell you're not a father. As most of the previous comments are from people who don't have children and therefore can't comprehend the true evil that exists in the world. True evil that is targeted at our kids!"

Holds alot to be said...I agree teenage girls ARE NOT ready for sex. Guess what though...about 53% of teens admit to having sex for the first time CONSENTUALLY between the ages of 14-18. That is an undisputed proven fact and that percentage may be higher since we know some aren't going to admit to yes. Personally, I don't think anyone should have sex until they are mature enough to have it. Yet, there are thousands of teens walking around doing it to some degree every day. So don't act like the kids don't want sex.

And yes, there are thousands of cases of statuatory rape from CONSENTUAL partners where the female doesn't want the male prosecuted. I guess that is the males fault for pushing it on the girl even if she made the first moves.

The problem is you are to blinded to see the real picture. You see your kids and your kids only. Look at the facts. In the case of this entire blog, there are no facts that show anything being done currently to sex offenders is curbing the problem. The facts show it is not working and sex offenders are growing at an alarming rate. The problem is the current regulations are just making it so sex offenders have nothing to do but to recommit.

Anomyous that is 2 posts above this, thank you for your post. That is the current problem. Sex offenders are being singled out so far that they can't get a job and then they can't get back into society. And with current laws changing every year, they are being forced to move as well, taking what little money they have away. I guess soon we will see them all registering for welfare and living off of us tax paying Americans even more. So then we continually pay for their crime instead of them attempting to get back into society. This also then gives many nothing else to do but go sit outside and watch other people and other victims. Instead of them sitting at a desk job 9-5, now they can sit at the school bus at 3 and wwait for a victim. That seems to be the route they are going.

 
at 1:38 PM, December 15, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

I live in an affluent Cincinnati suburb that last time I checked had one sexual predator and one sexually oriented offender in the community. I live about 200 yards from the sexually oriented offender and about one-half mile from the predator. I have four children, the youngest is 10 years old.
As I think about how the information I have regarding these two individuals has effected my behavior as a parent, I have come to the conclusion that it has had no effect.
Before the sexually oriented offender moved into the neighborhood, I made it a point to know where my children were and who they were with. If they were at one friend house and went to another's they were required to call home. I did not allow them to go into homes of people I did not know personally. Nothing changed after the offender moved into the neighborhood.
I am curious how others have used the information provided by the notification laws.

 
at 5:49 PM, December 15, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

6:37 PM, December 14, 2006 Anonymous - thank you for posting your story.

Remember, we ALL may have something in our past we wouldn't necessarily be proud of. Anon has paid his debt, but he's still paying the price. He doesn't sound like a threat to me or my kids, he realizes what he did was wrong. Why do others think it's ok to continue to punish him?

Because of being a member of Citizens on Patrol, I happen to know where a lot of the people who have committed other crimes live in our neighborhood. Believe me, I'm a LOT more worried that myself or my kids will be in the crossfire with the multi-convicted drug dealer down the street than with a particular sex-offender.

 
at 10:07 AM, December 16, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

My "vigilante" family and I would sleep better in jail, knowing that the disgusting man that did something to my child, wasn't given the privilege to live among normal human beings.

BTW, I am agreeing that there needs to be distinctions between offenses. Not ALL crimes can be issued the same title when they're all on different levels.

However, it alarms me that so many people have such a blase attitude about pedophiles. At what point did you become so immune to the topic, that you don't even consider it an issue? When you see "To Catch a Predator" on TV, do you feel sorry for those men, too? ( I don't!)

AND, no one has answered my original question....would you want a sexual predator living right next door to you, knowing that your kids are playing within feet of him? AND, I'm just wondering who has children that has commented? I can't imagine any parent wanting a sexual predator living in their neighborhood. Maybe since you don't have kids, it doesn't affect you. Just wondering...

 
at 10:17 PM, December 16, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

MrsCabes....and fellow bloggers...

I am the sex offender who posted before. I am curious....Since you do belive there needs to be a disntinction between levels of sex offenses and therefore offenders, Where does mine fall in your continuium ? (As a side note, if you remember my description of my offense, it was charged as Attempted Sexual Assualt of a Child, which is disproportionate to what I actually committed). And remember when you look at the registry you only see the charge (which in my case the more severe sounding charge that I pled to had the least prison time applied and the innocuous contributing to the delinquency charge had a potental lifetime sentence), not the underlying facts of the case.

I personally can live anywhere I wish to in the county I live in. So if I moved into your neighborhood, what would you do in response. I can honestly tell you that no matter you did it would not force me to move since I would have no legal reason to do so. If I allowed that to happen, when would it ever stop ? I would stay on basic principles and the freedoms guaranteed to me by the government. A note for you. It is against the law to harass anyone, including sex offenders, no matter how much you despise them. I do know of a few individuals who have been paid to move out of neighborhoods by neighbors who all donated money. Personally, I would be lying if I said no amount of money would affect my choice. But in all honesty i'm quite certain it would be more money than anyone is willing to put up. Bottom line is that I have as little interest in disrupting your life as I hope you have in disrupting mine. My current neighbors (who have many children) understand that fact.

On an alternate note, I would like to thank the two posters who thanked me for posting my story. It is good to know there is sparse support out there. But to me it is not a story, it is my daily reality, I only wish it was a story. I have no one to blame but myself but I just feel the other side needs to be heard from.

I would challenge anyone of the bloggers here who believe that the current laws and the proposed laws do what they think they do to a debate. Trust me, those regulations are nothing but window dressing to make you feel good !

 
at 9:06 AM, December 17, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

mrscabes....

Yes and no. First I would research in a legal manner what he did to become a sexual predator. The Internet doesn't give you everything you need to know and sometimes isn't clear. It may say rape, but it doesn't always say rape of a 13 year old or a 40 year old. That is the huge downside to the current registration system. The public doesn't know the full details of each case.

Therefore one has to know thy neighbor. And who knows, maybe thy neighbor made one single stupid mistake and has been rehabilitated for it. Yes, it is possible, I have seen it. How??? My brother. He was convicted of importuning and no thanks to these stupid state laws, he actually did make a total turn around. Although he still struggles for a place to live and for a job WITH medical insurance he is doing great. He was actually forced out of his home with our parents because of these stupid 1000 foot school guidelines. His doctor he sees on a weekly basis even petitioned the court that part of his treatment he needs to stay around peopel that can help support him. So what's he do, spends 8 hours at work, 8 hours at my parents house, then 8 hours at his house to SLEEP ONLY. Geee, effective law I see.

But back to your question. I may not let my neighbor alone with my children if I had any, but I wouldn't have any problem if he was a good neighbor. People make stupid ONE TIME mistakes. If you disagree with that, then I would love to talk with you when you are 80 years old and NEVER have a YOUR FAULT auto accident and NEVER recieve a ticket/be pulled over. Very few can ever do that, although, it is possible.

Treatment is effective and does work for many. The problem is, these restrictions placed on the people aren't helping them. If one is pushed to live say 2 hours from the city and a doctor they have been going to see every week, then new laws just hurt them. They may not bother to go see that doctor at all anymore since the drive is much greater. They also may not be able to financially afford treatment. Especially if they own a home and have to move. The house market sucks right now, and you can't disagree with that. Therefore someone could be forced to have two home mortages and just wasting money down the drain that could be used to help them rebuild themselves. Not to mention they could be fighting to get a job still. Remember, the #1 reasons criminals stay criminals is because they can't get back on their feet after certain convictions so they just do whatever they need to do to fill time and get by.

Do I consider sex offenses an issue? Yes, and it's a growing issue, but for the exact reason above. And unfortunately, placing hundreds of restrictions on people is not helping them. It does more harm than good. That has been proven by the current system not doing anything at all to lower it. And with the Internet it's so much easier. I'm amazed on what I read on Myspace pages by teens or too teens. It just astounds me that there is no parental oversight on the majority there.

So to recap on your original question. If a sex offender lived next to me there's not much I can do. I'm not going to totally ignore the neighbor because then that just builds another wall for them to have trouble with in recovering. I'm not going to harrass the neighbor because then that just puts me in a criminal aspect. If I had kids, I'd be fine letting them play with the neighbor and/or the neighbor's kids but only when I'm watching.

We need to help sex offenders recoup and not punish them more than what they get as their sentence in court. And unfortunately, the registry system is a you must do and so are the requirements once one is on the registry.

 
at 11:44 AM, December 17, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have kids. And I still contend that I have to worry about the drug dealers, felons that illegally own guns, etc. as much if not more than I have to worry about a convicted sex-offender - ESPECIALLY if his or her offense had nothing to do with kids.

 
at 9:01 AM, December 18, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have kids too, but I also know that most sexual molestations aren't committed by the stranger down the street but by the friend or relative you've invited into your home. I have at least three such cases in my own upper-middle class family, and I know of dozens of others. So while there's a registered sexual predator living in my neighborhood, I don't worry about him much. I spend my time on this subject teaching my kids what to do if a friend or family member touches them inappropriately, which is far more likely to happen.

 
at 3:09 PM, December 18, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

As Annonymous 6:37 PM, December 17, 2006 suggests lets get tougher on all repeat offending criminals. I'm all infavor of GPS controls on all repeat criminals. They have lost their freedom rights after preying on society.

 
at 12:19 PM, December 19, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am a 42 year old SO. Im not on this site to protest my guilt or to question the seven and a half years I spent in the Oregon DOC.. I did my crime and deserved my time...In 1987 I forcibly sexually assaulted a woman that I had known from high school. I am acutally quite grateful for the therapy I recieved while inside the DOC and that was provided me during my parole..Both A&D as well as Sex Offender therapy created an opportunity for me that was unparalled and allowed me to have the life I possess today.
My life today?...Im an employee...and an employer.. Im a homeowner and a landlord...Im a great dad to the coolest son in the world...I pay an average of 30k a year in income tax to a goverment that doesnt allow me to vote on any of the legislation that affects my life.
By the time my term of incarceration ended in 1994, I not only completed my therapy programs but had recieved a college degree and learned a trade as well. Scared of being a statistic I paroled to a drug treatment program 100 miles from my home to get a fresh start..
The issues began at my release.. My Board Action form had a blurb at the bottom of the form designating me as a predatory sex offender.. An item that upon meeting my parole officer I questioned.. She told me not to worry about it and as long as I did as she asked that I would be fine..
I completed that program.. enrolled and completed my sex offender treatment during my parole..I maintained employment during my parole recieving several promotions at my job..I also remained trouble free..(cept my speeding tickets) during my term of parole..
After completing all these things I was told by my PO that she was taking me off of active status and that after four years of parole I was now inactive..I needed to go to the state police and register once a year and I was done!
A year goes by..a great year.. I get another promotion at my job and start looking to buy a home..(renting is not very easy for us..) I get a call from my old PO saying that I needed to come back in as the state police were planning on notifying the community of my status..Huh? I thought ..wait.. I did everything that you asked ..I completed everything..passed psych evals...I knew my victim. we were both over 21...(all rationalizations I was told..)..No worries she says.. she will just put me back on parole and then the state police couldnt notify on me..
So after a year back on parole..passing my polygraphs..drug tests..she calls me back in again.. "Sorry .. you have two choices.. you can either get notified on..(the state police now had the sole decision making on who recieved the notification..) or I can take you back off and you can leave the state..
Having watched a person from my past go through the process and seeing him lose job after job and home after home.. I thought that leaving the state seemed a better idea..So I chose option B and had her take me off and leave the state..
So now I move across the river and register in a new state where Im suddenly a moderate risk and have no notification risk..I move on with my life and keep on keeping on..
Three months later I get a call from the Police in my new state telling me that the Oregon State Police were looking for me. I was never told that I couldnt work in Oregon either...So I immediately quit my job and found a new one in Washington State..grateful for not being charged with a felony..( my old PO didnt even know of this requirement at the time..)
Ive been here six years now... all problem free..had the same job... Ive been married and divorced..(when my neighborhood in the subdivision found my internet posting and confronted my wife...she freaked..combined with my long hours put into the job.. she was done..)
Today I read in the news of pending legislation of ankle bracelets.. and forcing SOs to move if they live by a school..(do I have to sell my homes?)
My neighbors all know..some are ok...some glare..some ignore me..My employer knows as well as most of the 300 employees that I work with..Fortunately I have had a chance for them to know me as a person prior to the discovery and for the most part are fine..
Today I worry about what will happen when my son gets older..will he be teased about my past?... he is such an angel..why should he have to deal with my errors...
Will this ever end?... Im not what you would call broke.. but even tossing 100k to an attorney can't change this... Am I just wallowing in self pity and whining about a problem I alone created?...
I am a neighbor,,an employee..and a landlord... Im the guy next door to you.. I dont want to be around your wife...kids...I just want to live my life

 
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