Pushed into adulthood

The following is a guest post from Sharon Morgan, editorial assistant to the Enquirer Editorial Board:

The case of De Ante Winfrey, 17, sentenced June 18 for killing his mother’s allegedly abusive former boyfriend, left a lump in my throat. Children can be charged as adults in the courtroom. Now, he’s facing life in prison with no chance for parole for at least 18 years. Where can you get Prison 101 training? I’m certain the TV shows that De Ante has seen will not match up to the experience he’s yet to face.

Too often children, especially teenagers, think they have to be the man or woman of the house in a single-parent home. But they must be assured that it is not their responsibility. Their role is to be a child and that means the single parent has to do double duty until the next “Mr. Right” or “Miss Right” comes along.

Children should be allowed to be childlike and experience the levels of adolescence, teenager and adulthood. Their lives become complicated when they accelerate to the “Adult 101” course without experience; their worlds are tough enough – school bullies, exams, social skills. Parents can take the opportunity to explain how to handle conflicts. Help their teens understand the choices that can be made and the consequences of those choices. Maybe stress management and handling conflict courses should be added to the school curriculum.

No child likes seeing a parent hurt, but they seldom know the full circumstances.
They feel an obligation to protect their parent, just as parents feel obligated to protect their children. I’m certain this was the case of De Ante and his mother, Michelle. There’s always the “if only” scenario. But it’s too late and the crime has been committed. Perhaps another teen can be saved.

Revenge is a course of action taken when someone has been wronged. Let’s teach one another the act of forgiveness. Let’s remind our children that their responsibilities are school and household chores; that our responsibilities as parents are providing the basic needs – food, clothing, and housing.

In this society, there are double standards – age 16 is old enough to drive but not vote; a 12-year-old can baby sit an infant but is not allowed to drive; a teenager can be old enough to fight in a war but not old enough to purchase a firearm.

It’s no wonder they’re confused. Have we silenced the laughter of our children? There was a time when being a child was all about fun, and now it’s all about acting like an adult.
Let’s let children be children; it’s only 18 years of their lives. They have plenty of time to be adults.

--Sharon Morgan