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Friday, October 13, 2006

Building better moms and dads

If you want to be a circus clown, a coffee shop manager, a city bus driver or a telemarketer, you will undoubtedly get hours more formal training than you will to be a parent. For a job that means you hold not just a child's life in your hands but his psyche, self-esteem and tear-stained little face, it's amazing what credentials, work history and skill base you can be lacking and still find work as a mom or dad.

The world's most important occupation comes with no job description, prerequisities or certification.

Not only will no one train you or be your mentor, they'll probably not have the nerve to point out your obvious shortcomings -- that's "your business" -- and, because it could create a messy dependency, they also won't do much to help you along.

Yet grooming better parents is surely the key to solving our most serious social problems, and as we point out in a Sunday column, one of the most effective steps in resolving the problems with foster care.

Support and instruct struggling parents and we may be able to pre-empt abuse and neglect.
Imagine what it would be like to be a region known for strong parenting.


3 Comments:

at 8:52 PM, October 13, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

Strong parenting requires more than just training, it requires resources. You can't pay the rent if you can't get a decent job and daycare. You can't get the job without education and training. You can't make good parenting decisions without viable choices. Parental training without opportunity will only serve those cases in which there already exists opportunity. Sadly.

 
at 9:51 AM, October 14, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

Krista's column was very insightful. Proper parenting is critical to a decent, well-ordered society, and so many mistakes are made in the world by inept, careless, incompetent and sometimes evil people who breed children. And yet, you can't have "grooming", "supporting", or "instruction" of such people UNLESS THEY WANT IT! Unfortunately, there is no effective way to insure that parents are capable and competent before they breed, without infringing on the sacred notion of free will. Hebron27's idea of "mandatory parent licensing" is so frightening that it makes me think of Orwell's "Brave New World." I don't want to live in a world like that.

 
at 7:06 PM, October 14, 2006 Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree that children aren’t born with disrespect for others, it’s taught in the home. And when they have no respect for themselves or others, they resort to crime, promiscuity, etc. I also agree that poverty and lack of resources exacerbates this problem. I’m not sure classes would work, but I do think that we could all participate in making the situation better and stopping the cycle by being mentors, volunteering with children, etc. Any little bit of positive reinforcement and attention from an adult is a huge leap in a child’s self-esteem.
I do not believe that spanking is the answer. Time-outs, yes, but spanking is no different than hitting a child on another part of his body, and this is akin to physical abuse. I’m sure we’ve all seen a parent spank their child. How does this make YOU feel when you see it? Does it make you feel as if one human being is showing respect for another? How do you think it makes the child feel? Spanking does not encourage a positive self-esteem.
My children behave because 1) they don’t need to misbehave to get my attention and 2) they respect me enough to want my approval. Returning to corporal punishment, instilling fear and treating children like robots who perform jobs at the snap of a finger is a step backwards. When you show respect for your child, he will make the choice to respect others.

 
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